Now Sandeep has been in Hospital for 11 days. At the day of arrival the nurse said that he wouldn’t have lived for one more day at the ghat.
I’m afraid to call this improvement, but it seems that he is getting stronger. His skin was peeling off (because he was basically starving), and his hand and feet were swollen – which is a sign for „wet“ kwashiokor, the more dangerous version of this disease. We have visited him frequently (not as much as I would liked to have though) and now his skin stopped peeling completely and the swelling is gone.
Yesterday I could have cried for joy and fear at the same time: For the first time he was responding properly to me talking to him. He tried to find me with his eyes, and once they were settled on me, tried to keep the focus for a very long time. He was even smiling, or maybe just frowning, so difficult to tell. Now that the swelling has gone completly he just looks bones and skin, but I can tell he has gained some weight.
Although all this seems encouraging, now that he has improved so much I am so scared that he might die anyway. He has some kinds of fits sometimes and he cannot control his right arm, which is always shaking heavily on its own, as well as his head sometimes. When seeing him I can understand how people might feel when claiming someone obsessed. I would like everyone who reads this to know how horrible he looked (and still does) but somehow I feel this would humiliate him even more. Too voyeuristic maybe.
What if he dies? The doctor says, chances are there for complete recovery as well as for death. Nothing’s decided yet. During the day I try to not think about him for it makes me want to cry and be where he is. Which wouldn’t be helpful at all.
